"Hey, I need a comeback."

So I am sitting at home the other night, still unsuccessfully attempting to potty train, and one of my best friends calls me and tells me she needs a comeback. Huh? She goes on to explain the situation with one of her friends, and sums it up that her friend (we'll call her Sunny) needed a witty, yet insulting, comeback for an ex that was sending text messages to the Sunny about not being allowed to have sex with anyone else. Still with me? Hope so. It seems Sunny's ex has moved out, moved on, and is with another girl. But Ex still thinks they are in complete control of Sunny's personal life. The text that the Ex sent to Sunny basically said, "you can go out and have a good time with your friends, but don't you dare think about sleeping with anyone."

Sunny called her friend for a witty comeback. Friend called me.

It seems I am the go to girl for all things witty or insulting. My reply?

"You lost the right to dictate what goes on my life when you started HOEing around after some nasty cabbage in someone else's garden."

I know it isn't Pulitzer prize here, people, but did I mention I was mid-potty training session here?

I will fully admit that my "Funny" is largely based on WHO finds WHAT funny at any given time while around me. I adjust my "Funny" for each person as is appropriate. With my closest friends, I am a riot and even crack myself up most of the time. Oldest sister? I get giggly-stupid when around her cause she can bring out the best in me, yet at the same time I have to sensor because there are usually children around. Here? I have found the best of all worlds. PLUS...complete strangers think I am funny, too! (which means my friends aren't just humoring me cause they think I am bat shit crazy and they are afraid I am going to eat their face off if they don't laugh at my jokes)

I love that all of you come here, and that you think I am funny. Thank you. For everyone that does come here, I try to return the favor by visiting your little space in Blogland. Oh, and if you have ads...I click them. I like to share the love and the odd 67 cents that way. For those of you that are lurking but not commenting? I SEEEEEE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU! Post something dammit. Even if it is just a hi or a you suck or a word verification. Trust me, it will make me feel complete. (hahahehehahahehe) And finally...

Get your comeback here! Cheap comebacks right here! Got a ex that needs a cut down? Got a boss that needs an attitude adjustment? Got a friend that needs to e put in their place? I got your comeback right here! Shipping and handling charges are extra. ;o)