Steel Magnolias

I am sitting here today watching one of my all time favorite movies and listening to my daughter cry, (she is being punished for not taking care of her toys by being sent to her room that is full of more toys) and making dinner. Dinner tonight is going to be some sort of chicken, mushroom, pasta and sauce...like my friend Feisty says...I can make anything that comes out of a jar taste like homemade with a little tweaking. I'm good at tweaking.

Intermission: I had to stop writing this so that I could unplug my laptop. It started storming. Actually, it started lightening...then thundering. Then it rained. Then it poured. Then the old man snored. AND THEN IT HAILED. That's right, folks, hail. It was hotter than a bitch, today. So in Florida that means afternoon storms. Not that unusual. But hail? That rarely happens. Oh boy did it hail long and hard. My car now looks like my ass in a thong. Nothing but dimples as far as the eye can see.

Now back to your regularly scheduled blog.

I had a dream last night about a couple of friends I haven't seen in years. Actually, these two friends were never fond of each other. But at one time, (not the same time) each girl was my best friend. For those of you who know me personally, here are a couple of names that are a blast from the past. Gaydrielle T. and Denise A. We were in a car going somewhere, not sure where, and they had picked me up from a hospital. I was chewing a tennis ball size chunk of gum (don't ask me how) and the gum was neon green. We ended up in one of my old neighborhoods, at a storage place with lots of orange doors, where we all proceeded to get out of the car and play stick ball. Wacky, huh? Feel free to analyze away. I am sure all this means that I want to run away and join a wild tribe of antelope or tea bag Hugh Grant or something.

Anyway, sorry about the randomness of this post so far, but I do have a point so suck it up and stick with me a little longer....While I was watching the movie, I was thinking about my friends. After that dream, one phone call, one IM, a brief yet unreplied to email, and another 2am email that I still haven't replied to cause I don't want to get hurt, I realized that I haven't seen any of my friends in the span of a few weeks to almost a year respectively. I miss my peeps.

I know that sounded all sad and desperate, but let me explain...

One of my friends lives in Tennessee. I try to get up to see her at least once a year, if she can't make it down here, but I don't know if that is going to be a possibility this year with gas all out of control like it is. She told me last night through an IM that she had been reading my blog and that I don't sound like myself. We couldn't nail down whether that was a good or bad thing. To her, I am just different on here. Well it got me to thinking that since we used to be really close, and aren't really that much anymore, does she still really know me? And if she doesn't really know me anymore, does that mean we are still best friends?

Which brings me to one of my other best friends. I try to talk to her on the phone at least once a week, and when she has the time (I always have the time...I am a bum that way) we can talk for over an hour. We catch up, we laugh, we promise to get together sometime when our (her) busy schedules permit. Since we haven't seen each other in months, and we don't know when we are going to be able to see each other again, and it seems life has done its part to separate us, does that mean we are still best friends?

And yet another best friend...I try to call, email and visit whenever I get the chance...and lately because she has become so busy with her life taking a different direction, I hardly get to see or talk to her either. The last best friend, I am wary to talk to. He is going through some serious stuff right now with his girlfriend having cancer and all, and late at night, when he gets drunk, he emails me things I have always wanted to hear from him, yet know that in the sobering daylight, he might not mean. I don't want to hurt.

I am just sitting here having my own personal pity party, eating comfort food, and watching a movie that never fails to make me cry, and bemoaning the fact that I miss my friends. I'll be OK in a minute. I'm just lonely. Everyone gets lonely. Sure would be nice to be watching it with someone, though. Sorry about the blog not being as funny as usual today, but sarcastic humor and smart assed comments are my defense mechanisms and I just can't seem to muster up much today. I just needed an outlet...and as we all know...blogging is both an outlet and extremely addictive. So I'll just leave on that note with this little bit of whacked out, cracked out, wisdom sung in the voice of Donkey from Shrek....

"Cause I'm all alone...there's no one here beside me. My problems have all gone, there's no one to deride me, but ya got to have frie-eh-eh-ends...."