There's a skinny woman inside me screaming to get out.

I shut the bitch up with chocolate.

In case you haven't noticed lately, I have been busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest. Or is that a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs? Whatever. Shit is hectic around here. I haven't blogged much, but it isn't for lack of material and y'all better be thankful that I keep notes, cause I got enough funny stuff you to read for many blogs to come.

I'm going to keep this kinda of short with a summary of what has been going on and I promise to update and let you know how things go. Bacardi's now cancer free girlfriend has left him. She left him because she wanted children now that she was cancer free. He told her he didn't want any more kids. (He has a 22 year old daughter, 14 year old son, and then there is my 4 year old whose paternity is still up in the air.) Bacardi is now ecstatic for several reasons. One being that I and my daughter can now openly be a part of his life again. Another being that he has this huge apartment and it is now a little on the empty side. He likes the openness and space. Plus he is just happy to have me back, he says. That he realized that I have been a solid friend for the last 10 years and I keep coming back to be his friend no matter what kind of shite he puts me through (I'm a masochist, what can I say?) and he is just happy to have me in his life no matter what the circumstances. Then he asked my to have his child. I told him I already did. He said he wants another. (Um...hello? Didn't your girlfriend just leave you for this very reason? In his defense, he wasn't that sober when he asked me to procreate.)

I adore his apartment. It has a gourmet kitchen that anyone would kill for. It is in a beautiful part of town, that I also happen to have grown up in, and am partial to if I ever had a true choice about where I want to live. What does this all mean? I am seriously thinking about moving in with him. There are many, many downsides to this scenario, but many upsides as well, and he and I are just going to mull it over a while and see what happens.

Oh, and did I mention that he makes me happy?

I have friends and loved ones that think he is a bad idea on many levels, and that I am thinking with my heart (or my pants for that matter) and not my head, but I can assure y'all that I am taking everything into consideration and going as slow as I can to let my head catch up with what is all going on.

Meanwhile, FCB and I have reached all new lows with our living arrangement/relationship and I am just lucky that I don't own an aluminum baseball bat. We have talked, debated and fought for the better part of 2 weeks. It is getting us nowhere. Other than you could shoot the movie "War of the Roses II" at our house. All that's missing is me standing over his computer and pissing on his keyboard. I'm kidding......................................Not really.

My chain mail and jewelry business is taking off a bit, thanks in part to Meuse (moose) and all her loverly friends and Queens over at the "alternative lifestyle bar/club" that she now works at. I have been showing up over there occasionally and have drummed up some business and sold some pieces while indulging in watching the fabulous and funny drag shows.

Today is the last day of summer school for the Punk. She has matured and grown so much so far this summer and I am just so damn proud of her! I am crossing my fingers and hoping that when she goes back to school in a month, I will have gained some of that maturity and have grown enough not to want to beat the ever-loving shite out of her numbskulled teacher for the THIRD YEAR IN A ROW.

I am also trying to organize a family trip up to the relatives' lake house in GA. This means coordinating between my mom and my sister, and for that feat, folks, I deserve the fucking Nobel Peace Prize. Between work, fighting with FCB, planning a trip, figuring out what to do with the month of having my daughter out of school, traipsing to the bar a couple of times a week to try to drum up business and enjoy a little drag at the same time, enabling Bacardi, packing and/or organizing my life in case I move, and trying to negotiate a peaceful way to co-habitate with FCB until things change, I am also trying to get the Lap-Band surgery done. I am tired of being fat. Fat sucks. I hear exercise can cure this, and I have also heard that sex is exercise. So now I just need to figure out what this "sex" thing is and where I can get me some.

So anyway, I know I said this was going to be short, and now I have just spewed ADD all over you folks. Hope you don't mind too much. After all...a little blog to let you know what all is going on, thrown in with a little sarcasm and humor, and a nice soft towel to wipe it all up with, and y'all should be right as rain.