Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I'm fixin' to kill y'all with cuteness!

Throughout the rest of this Year and all of 2011...
May you always make the right moves.

May your cup runneth over with love.

May you always find shelter from any storm.

May you remain good looking and looking good!

May you find the perfect diet for your soul.(If this face doesn't make you want to stop eating sausage, nothing will.)

May you find perfect balance in the company you keep.

May you have as much fun as you can before someone makes you stop.

May the worst thing that happens to you come in slobbery pink and furry tan.

May you manage to make time for siesta.

May all the new folks you meet be interesting and kind.

May your accessories always harmonize with your natural beauty!

Should your mouth be bigger than your stomach, may you have a chewing good time!

May you always know when to walk away and know when to run.

And may your friends always bring you joy!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Yep. Dating.

We have been on like 5 or 6 dates so far. Actually I'm losing count. But loving that the time seems to blur and stretch and ahhhhhh. She is fantastic and smart and amazing and funny and witty and pithy and snarky and brilliant and beautiful! And yes I said she.

Waiting for the room to clear of all the people who just hiked up their judgmental thong into their tight asses.

Clear? Great.

Onward and upward! And speaking of upward...just made the Punx some muffins for lunch (or dinner...we don't do schedules much...ever) and she said to me, "Wow, Mommy! Look at those muffins suck!"

I must explain that due to her "Special Snowflake-ness", she uses substitute words when she doesn't know the right word to insert into her vocabulary. She's a Smurf. Only instead of using the word "Smurf" every so many words to talk, she uses "Suck" and all of the tenses that go with it. She's great at using the proper tense "Sucking, Sucked, Sucks" but while it cracks me up all the time, strangers are totally offended/confused/lost when she talks. Her other word is "Creepy."

She meant, "Look at those muffins rise!"

I totally got her. We didn't miss a beat. It wasn't until later that I had to go back and give her the right word. Otherwise the next time she is at school and sees a cupcake she is going to proclaim its "Suckiness" and then I'm gonna get a call from the PTA or some shit.

I made some chili the other night and that stuff is calling my name. Please excuse the hunger/ADD but I am gonna go eat. Just thought I would share a little more in the hopes that someone other than one (HI CHITOWN GIRL!!!) or two (HI GRAMMARPHILE!) people are still out there waiting for an update.

Told ya I was going to blog more.

Sunday, January 2, 2011


My New Year's resolution was to start posting to my blog more often, starting with the first day of the year!

Now my resolution is to make sure I procrastinate everything to the very last minute. That way, based on the timing of this post, I will have actually succeeded at one of them.

Happy New Year!

By the way, totally healthy this holiday season unless you count being infected with a case of the fuckits. No hospital visits. Xmas happened on time and wrapped (barely) and I sat my bored ass home one New Years Eve and watched Andy Cohen get drunk in HD.

Oh, and I am dating someone now. LET THE LOVELIFE BEGIN! (not that I am excited or anything....SQUEEEEE!!!!)

More (often) updates (I swear) to come (I really mean it this time) soon! Hope everyone had a great holiday! (I know for a fact that 4 of you are still checking for updates occasionally.)