Sunday, December 21, 2008

Merry F*ing Holiday, here's your shredded heart in a box with a bow.

Because? I was having a great fucking day up until I got this email from Bacardi. Regulars will remember him. Friends will groan at his mention. Me? Melting into a puddle of sadness, heartbreak, frustration and sheer-all-out-unadulterated-rip-his-balls-off-pissed.

Hey I'm sorry for treating you the way I have in the past. I've done a lot of soul searching and found that I'm not such a good person after all... I'm sorry if i ever hurt you. You were so good to me for so long taking someone for granted is a sin after all. I hope you have a great Christmas... thank you for all that you have done for me in the past...

Merry Christsmas

It didn't have a "Dear" and he didn't sign it.

Back in July I was going over to his house and we were getting reacquainted. We have been friends for so long and have had that on again-off again relationship. He was conflicted over wanting to leave his girlfriend of 2 years because she had cancer and he didn't want to look like a schmuck about not wanting to be with her anymore. Then one day she up and packed and hired the movers and got out. He was elated. Even I will admit I was happy.

Then I got the whole story.

In parts.

Or should I say "minute instances of sobriety".

She wanted kids, he didn't. She wanted marriage. He didn't. She put up with his alcoholism. He put up with her grass habit. He assured me it was over and there was no more to the relationship. She wasn't coming back. Ever.

Fast forward to the end of July. I was helping out my best friend by participating in the Pride festivities and the parade float that she was supposed to ride on along with other employees of the gay bar she worked at. She was the only lesbian that showed that day. I hopped on the float with her along with a straight Waffle House waitress. Ah...good times.

On the way to the parade I passed Bacardi's house. I saw the "supposed ex-girlfriend's" car parked outside his house. That coupled with the wacky dodging emails I had been getting from him in the days preceding the parade and everything became crystal clear. The fucktard took her back. Too spineless to sever the relationship and move on, he had welcomed her back.

My reaction? I screamed insanely loud and obnoxious obscenities at her AND him through the neighborhood for a good 10 minutes. I was hurt. I felt betrayed. I was venting.

She was on his front porch sparking up a doobie. He was passed out drunk out 3 in the afternoon in the bedroom. She heard every word. She knew I was yelling at her because of the repeated use of her name along with a plethora of derogatory female curse words I was hurling. She got mad. Woke him up. Told him some woman was screaming and saying all kinds of thing.

One word. BUSTED!

It seems he had not told her that he had any female friends or had tried to "move on" after the "breakup". I guess she must have just thought MOVING OUT COMPLETELY AND REFUSING ANY CONTACT WITH HIM FOR OVER 6 WEEKS meant they were just taking a "break".

The ensuing email I got from him was umm...entertaining to say the least.

what in the hell are u doing coming by my house and yelling at the woman that loves me... i'm sorry she doesn't live with another man, she doesn't have a girl friend on the side she loves me don't be fucking with the people that love me i care about you leigh but don't fuck with the ones that give me there all I was alseep when all this happened and it fricking pisses me off that you respect me that little.... i never knew you respected me that little . To me your nothing but WHITE TRASH---SO DO NOT CALL ME ANYMORE AND DO NOT LOOK FOR ME ANYMORE.--IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS REGARDING HOW I FELL YOU ARE MORE THANWELCOME TO CA;LL THE WOMAN THAT I LOVE HER CELL NUMBER IS ***-****.

*Let's not even get started on how much he respected me by telling me he was getting back together with her and he wanted me to go away quietly and discreetly. * (watch that puddle of dripping sarcasm now. We don't want you to slip and fall...)

So I didn't call him anymore. In fact I deleted all his numbers from all my phones. I blocked his emails. I put him on my blocked IMs list. I didn't answer that email. I just let it go. I figured, the pieces of my heart could be swept up and eventually glued back together. I would get over it. In time. I would survive, because that is just what I do.

Eventually as the days went on and other things filled my time and thoughts, my heart was mending itself. I wasn't pining away for him and even though he still invaded my dreams occasionally, I was getting over it all.

To be honest I hadn't even thought of Bacardi in over a month. I was sitting here at home today, working away at getting my gifts made for my relatives, and then BOOM!!

That stupid email shows up. I knew it was him from the email address it came from. He doesn't get creative when it comes to picking email addresses.

And now?

At a loss as to what to do. So for I have two votes for ignore it, delete it, and block that new email address.

One vote for email the fucking bastard back and wish him the unmerriest holiday of his life, and the hope a rabid family of porcupines crawls up his ass as camps out for the winter.

One vote for forgiveness in the spirit of the season, and just a simple "Merry Christmas and please honor your promise not to contact me."

(I should also note at this point that I occasionally experience a duality of personality and I will give you one guess as to who those last two votes came from.)

So I need some advice my bloggy friends. I would like to get some feedback as to what to do, before I act all impetuously and do something I might regret. You can either leave a comment or email me. My address is on my profile. Thanks for the help.

Oh and glad tidings and joyous holiday wishes to you and yours!


The Girl Next Door said...

Delete Delete Delete.

Any contact is affirmation that you care. And even if you do care (clearly it touches you emotionally) I wouldn't let him know. Continue to heal and don't let the f'tard near you. YOU GO GIRL.

Oh and any negative comment or retort would merely be giving him the opportunity to say "remember when I called you white trash? See I was right...."

IT's really easy to sit up here and tell you to take the high road. Me, I'm not always so good at following my own advice...

Busy Bee Suz said...

I agree w/ TGND. Don't even reply.
It sounds like perhaps he is trying to make ammends...maybe he is in rehab? He is a dick weed that is for sure and you don't need him around you at all. right? right!

Persnickety Ticker said...

Rehab had crossed my mind. He certainly had enough time for it and would be to the "Amends" stage by now...

Or this could be another "She's out of town visiting relatives and I am lonely in my pants."

MrsSoersdal said...

One more vote for sounds like step 4 to me. My brother's doing the steps right now so it all sounds very familiar.

MrsSoersdal said...

I've been corrected. It's step 9.

Feisty Irish Wench said...

my vote: E-All of the above.
He's lonely in the pants.
He's feeling regret.
He's possibly in rehab.
He's intoxicated.
He's sober.
He's been slipped a mickey.
He's been playing puff-puff-give with the girlfriend and her doobies.

Do not pass go, do not collect $200, do not answer his email. If you MUST respond, do so only after he's attempted contact again. That way you know it was not a drunken/sober/stoned/lonely/sorry move and he really did intend to make contact. And when you do respond, be very succinct. "You told me to stay away. I am." and that's it. No signature, no greeting, no emotion. Just the facts ma'am.

word verf: modibbl - Bacardi wants to nibble your modibbl.

tysgirl said...

I'm having a hard time seeing why you even need to ask for advise, the guy is a loser and having any contact with him what so ever does not shed a pretty light on you at all.

That's my 2 cents, probably too honest, but I'm not one for sugar coating.

Persnickety Ticker said...

Thanks Tysgirl, I love blunt honesty. Really. I need to hear it.

As far as the contact goes. It was more of a question of ignoring the email or responding with all the meanness I could muster. I had washed my hands. I had blocked him (or so I thought) and I am angry that he is trying to contact me again. Just wanted some input from my friends to help reassure my decision on what to do about the situation. I also wanted some honest opinions from people who are removed from the situation.

Hope that clears it up.

insanelybusymomma said...

Ignore the scrotebag. I'm sure that he's trying to patch things up with you for numerous reasons and NONE of them are just out of the goodness of his heart m'dear.

Now if your to see him on the street and just HAVE to tell him to go to hell, or wish rabid bats to nip his ears, or he'd pass out and someone would smear his body with honey and stake him to a tree next to a fire ant nest, or something to that go girlfriend! Oh but don't remind him NOT to contact you as per his wishes you don't contact him ;).

Some people are just a waste of oxygen....

Lana said...

TGND said it ALL. As hard as it may be, DON'T do it. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

Maggie said...

This relationship sound much too toxic for the simple Merry Christmas please honor your promise...Doesnt sound like this person would know how to honor a promise anyway. My vote is to delete!

Meuse said...

you know my original vote.... i still say delete and block the waste of living and dead cells. love ya babe.

Lindy said...

Return the email with 'RETURN TO SENDER' at the top. Elvis Presley style. Maybe its time to create a new email address that he doesn't have & lose the one he knows he can contact you through. Severe the ties to all that old hat bullshit. Why waste your time with name calling losers when your clearly too good for them?