Monday, May 25, 2009

Because I am just like a brothel for germs.

They just keep coming and coming and coming to party all over my body with plenty of extra lube (snot and phlegm) and they leave me all spent and exhausted in the morning because I haven't had any sleep.


A friend of mine called to see how I was doing and when he heard I was sick again, his exact words were, "What? Again? Are you faking it? You have to be one of the sickest people I have met! And I mean that in the nicest possible way..."

On to other news...I think I sprained my eyeballs from rolling them at FCBSis this past week. So many issues there, that it would take a whole 'nother blog post to get it all out. I assure you when the viral orgy is done with my body I will elaborate.

One thing I did want to share, Punk can now read.

So knock me over with a feather and pick my ass up off the floor. When the hell did she learn that? I have been trying forever and no such luck. The school told me she never cooperates.

I am standing in the lobby of the hotel and there are three coffee urns (regular, bold and decaf) plus a smaller urn with hot water in it for tea. I make myself a cup of bold and standing next to me is Punk. She looks at the small urn and slowly says...."Hhh-hot wuh-wuh-water."

There were no pictures. Nothing to indicate that was what it said. She just sounded out the letters and BOOM!! My jaw hit the floor in disbelief. My 5 year old just read. I started doing a happy dance in the lobby. I was jumping up and down and congratulating her and she was looking at me the exact same way the rest of the lobby staff was.


Bah! I don't care! My kid can read!! Take that Einstein! Up yours Steven Hawking!

"So, what are we going to do tomorrow then, Punk?"

"Tomorrow, we shall take over the world."


ChiTown Girl said...

Yay, Punk! How exciting!!

Feisty Irish Wench said...

And it you'll have to make sure all the notes to the teachers are in cursive so she can't see what you're communicating to "the enemy"

One Reader said...

Whoot! Good on Punk!
You should make her a cake for all that hard work. My word vert has a suggestion - kiticak

Chantelle said...

How fun! Yay Punk! It's amazing how fast they learn to read in school. I am beyond impressed by what daughter has learned just in one year of kindergarten.

Nicole said...

Yay!!! That's so exciting!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Congrats to the punk!!! Sometimes they just 'get it' on their own time. Now, you have to hide your blog from her. Cause of the cuss words, you know. :)
Sorry you are sick again...really, what is the deal?
Have you tried to drink lysol? that will kill the bad germs I think. No, I am not a real DR. I just know stuff.

Lo W. said...

"Are you faking it? You have to be one of the sickest people I have met! And I mean that in the nicest possible way"
Ah, friends ...
My wv sounds like something that would make you sick: corilsac. E.g., "My corilsac is infected." Actually, that leads to one MORE blog where I discovered your comments - Desperately Seeking ... Something. Not for the faint of heart, but I like it because it helps me remember why being single at 36 isn't that bad.
Last but best: Great that your daughter can read! Doesn't matter how, or how long it took; the point is that she can!

The Girl Next Door said...

WOOOOOOT for the Punk! Oh I remember the day I realized my kids could read. It is so exciting!