Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Her corpse isn't even cold yet...

We all know that the holiday season can be a real bitch, but she is barely past her peak and the whole world (or at least my neck of the woods) has already started shoveling dirt on her grave. While there were only about 4 people in my whole neighborhood that bothered to put up lights and decorations, it seemed like it was only Dec. 26th before the 'hood went dark. Talk about a bunch of scrooges. Our lights are still on the house. Our tree is still up. Our fugly red tinsel ropes are still draped across the artwork in the living room (FCB's idea. Punk and I hated it. Matter of fact, she would rip the stuff off every opportunity she could. I would laugh hysterically. FCB would turn purple with rage.) Anyway, back to the lights. Wouldn't this world be a prettier (or tackier depending on the house) world if people adorned their houses with a simple light string or two all year long? They make LED lights now that barely make a blip on the electric bill. I suggested we leave the lights on the house all year long to spruce up the 'hood. We live on the corner lot and we are the first house anyone who comes in the subdivision sees. FCB said it was a bad idea and I was just being lazy about not wanting to take them down. He's partially right. While I am no fan of the holidays especially, I do appreciate how a string of lights can perk up an otherwise dreary neighborhood.

My other holiday peeve is that I can't find eggnog or my coffeecrack anywhere. Geezuspetes corporate America! Can't you folks just realize that some people need a little extra sumpin'sumpin to get through the new year? Would it kill ya to extend sales until...oh I dunno...February?

I guess what I am saying is after the media and modern society have finished cramming us up to the hilt with the nagging bitch that is the holiday season, stuffing us full of warm and fuzzy good cheer as well as making it a time of year when sugary sweets count as an honorary food group, is it really fair that it's yanked out from under us like the proverbial rug and replaced with the "Get off your fat ass and resolve to be a better person now that we have taken all caloric goodness and sparkly lighting away from you!"

I guess I am just going to have to curl up in the fetal position in the dark and wait for another 11 months to get my dosage of overdone lighting displays and holiday themed, sugar concocted cheer. But not before I dip my thumb in Peppermint Mocha Coffee-Mate to suck on and plug in a multicolored string of LEDs for a nightlight.

Happy New Year.

(Oh, and on a side note...As I was trolling blogs this morning and commenting right and left, I have come to the conclusion that the word verification department over at Blogger has been hijacked by the LOLCats. All of my word verts this morning were nurmal werds speelled a leetle rongly. Lyke sumting ude cee awn dat webbsite. NEwon elsse notuss dat watewy?)

(On another side note, my blogger spellcheck just put me in my place like a loser at a yo'mama contest. Then its head rotated 360 degrees before it puked pea soup and called me a bad name. It's going to be a great year. ::Smacks forehead::


Busy Bee Suz said...

You never stop cracking me up.
I do think most homes look pretty with some lights on them...even the fugly homes look nice. :)
But don't get me started on the blow up snowglobes in the front yard. Somehow I don't think that is the "reason for the season"
Hapee nu yer.

Feisty Irish Wench said...

dimmitalltohale!!!! I neeeeeeed my craaaaack!!!!!

word verf: thosapor
Thosapor peeples want de noms plz.

tysgirl said...

Sorry but I'm shoveling dirt on the bitches grave the day after Christmas, I'm Scroogy that way.

One Reader said...

The lights really beautify homes, I've come close to driving off the road after looking at a lit up house many a time.

Also my particular holiday treat is Pumpkin Pie ice cream mmmm.

Chantelle said...

Just wandering around the blogging world and came across your blog :) Everyone in our neighborhood has taken down their stuff too except for a few. Just wanted to say hi to a "neighbor" :)

Laura said...

I like the lights. I wish people would do them all year long, then maybe I could do it too. Since I'm Jewish I "can't" put them up around the trees in front of my house. But if they were to beautify all year round, I could partake.