Monday, July 13, 2009

I smell like a delicate flower...

That is blooming out of a dead buzzard's ass.

Because today at the new house? No A/C. NONE. Nada. Windows and doors open and not a breeze to be found. I live in FLORIDA people. If the heat doesn't kill you then the humidity will finish the job nice and wetly.

We had the old unit replaced because there was mold in the unit. And in the ducts. And that was more than likely the reason that I was getting violently ill every time I spent any time in that house.

And then?

They ripped out the wall behind the tub in the guest bath. They needed to do this to get rid of the old tile before they installed the new stuff.

And behind the drywall and tile?

Mold, mildew, and.......massive termite damage. OH JOY!! RAPTURE!!

So all that has to be replaced. As if the A/C wasn't enough $$$.

I figure we should just get a shovel and start scooping money into the nearest deep pit. It would be cheaper.

So work continues on the house. Day after day after day....

The plus side? Every time I walk into the house I have a floorgasm. I love the floors. They are gorgeous!

As the A/C guys were collecting their check this afternoon, one of them looks at it, asks me if I am FCB (Do I look like a Fat, Bald MAN?) and said he couldn't take the check with out a driver's license number on it. I looked at him and said for the money they were charging they should be happy they are getting paid all at once, period! I then proceeded to tell him that I know for a fact the whole unit plus labor probably didn't even cost half what they were charging.

Then I said, "I know we got screwed on this because there is a tingling in my butt and I doubt you throw in lube for that price!"

The one guy was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. The one that wanted the DL number had a blank look on his face because he barely understood English. least someone got a laugh.

I also found out today that the Blank Stare doesn't work in Lowe's. I was in there today for a drain and when I stood in the plumbing section I got no help and a lot of employees looking at me apathetically. I ended up asking one guy for assistance. He actually SUCKED WIND THROUGH HIS TEETH before going over to a phone to call for assistance in plumbing. The 4 different employees standing around watched him do this. Then...they all just stood there. And then they stood there some more. (Gee I want THAT job!) Eventually, I found what I was looking for myself. But not before proclaiming loudly that I was about 5 seconds away from going to Home Depot. (No reaction from Mr. Attitude and the Starers.)

It's just been a long and expensive and frustrating day.

When I went to the school to pick up the Punk this afternoon, I walked in the door and the "Summer School Principal" looked and me and smiled and said, "Are you here to pick up 'Punk'?"

I actually had to stop myself from retorting, "Nope! I just figured I would wander the hallways for a while for the exercise! Here's your sign!"

My child is matriculating at genius central. Those people deserve a cookie or something.

The one thing that has been making me smile all day?

My daughter keeps walking around going..."Gotta get-get. Gotta get-get. Gotta get-get. Hey Mommy? Can I listen to the Boom-Boom song again?*"

She's a trip!

*Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas.


Busy Bee Suz said...

I also have that song in my head...chicken kung pow, and that crab rang goon.
yeah, it can be a spreading disease...this song.

Good luck with the house.
Floorgasim? I had one of those before. awesome.

Meuse said...

bwahahahaaaaaa floorgasm....heres yer sign...bwahahaha...oh my... almost peed the seat of my truck. yes, i am in my truck checking the interwebs.... its raining and i didnt want to go into the coffee shop... so here i sit in the truck for an update on your world... miss youse guys....