Tuesday, May 27, 2008

My Friend, Furfa

I swear like a sailor. I admit it. At any given time in my house you can hear all sorts of expletives flowing out of my mouth. I stub my toe, drop something, get aggravated with the FCB, you name it....I swear at it. Well, seeing as my 4 year old likes to parrot what I say on occasion, and I have been very fortunate up until now that she hasn't picked up on the potty mouth habit, I have been trying to alter my vulgar verboseness. In order to accomplish this, I have been trying to use words that sound similar, but aren't commonly offensive.

The Sci Fi channel has a show called Battlestar Galactica and the writers of that show got really creative in using the word Frak. Knowing that they had a little creative freedom being a cable show, but also knowing that the FCC would have their collective asses on a silver platter if they used an unforgivable word...they decided to bastardize an old standard. Thus, fuck=frak in a distant galaxy.

So I have been trying to use the word frak...and sugar, and pickles, and goshdarnitall, and other G-rated expletives to spare my daughter (and all the children she comes in contact with) from getting an education in the art of swearing. The only phrase that I am having trouble with is "for fucks sake." I say it often. When I hurt myself, or get up off the couch, or get completely frustrated...out of my mouth it tumbles. In trying to curb this, I have shortened it to "Oh, Furfa!"

My daughter is so funny. She has this obsession lately with puppies and thinks they are the neatest animals. She has all kinds of puppy toys, and loves looking at pictures of puppies, and even bugs me relentlessly to take her to her grandmother's house so she can "see Grand's new puppy!" Well with my new usage of the word Furfa (I say it A LOT) my daughter has started asking with more frequency, "where's the puppy?" It took me a few days (OK, more like a couple of weeks, but hey, I don't want to make myself look denser that I am) to realize what she was talking about. Every time I say Furfa she thinks I am talking about a puppy. From a 4 year old perspective, I can see where she makes this connection...fur=puppy. So needless to say, if I ever get a dog, it already has a name. Can you imagine the look on peoples faces when I introduce the thing? This is my dog Furfa...short for "For Fuck's Sake!"


tysgirl said...

My husband recently started saying "for fuck's sake" and it flies from his lips often.

I'm the worst for swearing, it goes hand in hand with my out of control road rage.

The Girl Next Door said...

ROFLMAO I love it. Furfa. Will have to try it. I have a terrible potty mouth, too, and it is ugly to hear it coming from my 15 year old daughter...my worst one when I am particularly aggravated (and I've only said this in hearing range of another person once, at work, a male who promptly responded "WHAT did you just say?!!!")

and it is "Fuck me to tears..."

Persnickety Ticker said...

TGND2X: Mine is "fuck me sideways with a pitchfork."

...and you know if that one leaves my mouth you better take cover....

speckledpup said...

I say Fluff.
Fig newton
There you have it.

These will cover about any expletive I need.
You should hear us when we're mad. very funny

Big Mama said...

Tysgirl sent me over here to say hello and I'm glad I did, I got to learn another cuss word! Yay me! Nice to meet you.

Character Builder said...

I'm here through Tysgirl. Sometimes I'll say, "What the flamin'?!?" I picked that up from my husband. Other alternatives are "frick" like Elliot from Scrubs always says. Or my Spongebob favorites are "Oh Barnacles!" or "Tartar Sauce!" What, do you think I watch too much TV? ;)

Lindy said...

I have to really watch it at work. My favorite is fuck me running or diddle fuck. I've learned sometimes cheese & rice (not the food..saying the phrase) helps me get through the day.

Feisty Irish Wench said...

I sometimes say Jim Dandy...it's clean and hints of the sarcasm that oozes here. I have taken to saying "balderdash" instead of the immediate expletive that tries to escape. Well my child was getting frustrated recently and said "oh balderdash". It was difficult to maintain composure.