Older Sister and her now 1 month old are home.
This after the little one spent half her life already in the hospital.
The doctors finally found a medicine combo that worked.
I am glad I could be there for her when she needed me.
I am tired.
Because I am tired, I am getting sick.
Again.
I hope and pray (even though I stopped praying years ago) that Older Sister will never have another worry when it comes to this child and will never know the the pain and hardship it takes to raise a "special needs" child.
Even though I know she will never stop worrying.
My child misses me so much she thinks I am running away and abandoning her every time I leave the room.
We are going to Disney's Animal Kingdom tomorrow for some bonding time.
(even though it will weaken me more)
Because my "special" girl is my universe and I want her to have more happy memories of me than not.
Please keep sending prayers, positive energy and good thoughts to my Older Sister and her baby girl.
I fully believe it all helped and is still helping.
You guys are great and I love each and every one of ya!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
I'm Thankful it's over.
Cuz family? (No one was even related to me except the throngs of children and the Punk.) And cooking? (If you call one dish of southern style special recipe mac 'n cheese that I came up with so my child would eat at least one thing because the mac 'n cheese they like to pass off as mac 'n cheese ever year is just a grease fest of no flavor and not enough salt, eww. Plus the fact that since Older Sister wasn't going to be there this year it fell to me to make her deviled eggs which I now know that apparently she is the only one in the world the can make OS deviled eggs cuz no one went back for seconds but I thought they tasted alright so everyone can just suck it cuz that means I can just take the rest home and so what that they were a little salty cuz it's not like any of the rest of the people there would even know a grain of salt if it jumped up and bit 'em on the ass. Ahem.) And FCB in rare extra cranky form? (He is so lucky that I don't actually own an aluminum baseball bat cuz I would so go all batting practice on his head.) And that was just the start of the day.
So when the dinner?!? came to pass? (We were late getting there since dinner was at 2 and it is cosmically impossible for me to be anywhere on time. Seriously. Me being on time would result in flaming frogs raining down from the sky to mark the end of the world as we know it. Even though my being late had nothing to do with me and everything to do with Punk and FCB draggin' ass and fighting and generally just goofing off to drive me to the edge of batty right before we had to leave the house, at which time FCB stated that he was driving and MY minivan at that, and proceeded to get in and start adjusting my seat controls as well as my mirrors and where the hell did I put that crowbar, cuz bat be damned, anything would do at this point!) So we got there at 3. (They were getting ready to start and we arrived just in time to catch the AMEN of the blessing and as I am standing there with food in my hands FCB just sat right down at the table to start feeding like a hoover-vac stuck on permanent suck. I found a place to put the food and when I uncovered my to-die-for mac 'n cheese noses curled up bigger than a whole closet full of elf shoes and was told promptly that there was already mac 'n cheese on the table. oh yeah? Bite me.) And the kids? (They all dove into my mac 'n cheese cuz it was kid friendly and made with Velveeta and actually had FLAVOR to it as well as SALT and PEPPER, and everyone who actually braved the wrath of the hostess to try it said it was WONDERFUL! And no that is not bragging it is just fact cuz I just know I am a good cook that way plus I have had to suffer the bland tasteless food that is this family's fare for the last umpteen years and I know that these people are ready to have something else besides unseasoned cardboard.) And the dinner? (Who the fuck makes mashed potatoes without any milk or butter or salt and pepper or maybe even a little sour cream and garlic? I swear these potatoes were cooked, thrown in a bowl and mashed. Nothing added. Nothing. Hork. Gag. WTF? The green beans? No casserole, just green beans thrown in a dish and heated. NO SALT AND PEPPER. The Stuffing? I honestly think they shredded some cardboard and threw in some cranberries. The corn? Same as the green beans. Canned, thrown in a bowl and heated without being seasoned. Creamed onions...WTF...orange whipped-looking something I didn't touch...rolls that were raw dough in the middle...TWO fried turkeys and one roasted one. I was given one slice of the roasted one. That's it. And don't get me started on the broccoli casserole that my BIL made. Bless his heart, with the wife in the hospital with the youngest of five, he attempted to make one of her dishes that she cranks out every year. I was with her in the hospital when the husband called 5 times to have her walk him through making it. At first taste it seemed that he got it right, but about 5 minutes after eating it my tummy decided that he didn't. I had a lovely view of the restroom for the remainder of the evening.) All in all these people have never even heard of seasoning food. It was tragic. Don't even get me started on dessert. If you can even call it that. I came home and had some ice cream.
So today? The easy-peasy turkey breast in a bag that goes straight to oven from the freezer is cooking away. The (well seasoned) creamed corn, is on the stove. The green bean casserole is ready to be made along with the (well seasoned) stuffing. The sour cream, chive and garlic (and salt and pepper) mashed potatoes are in the making. The mac 'n cheese will be reheated (because it tastes great even on the second day, and try doing that with greasy traditional stuff) and there will be blueberry pie and strawberry cheesecake. Oh and the deviled eggs? Plenty of them left over because I took what was left back home with me. So a nice, well seasoned dinner will be had by this family in my house with a nice plate made up for Older Sister that is still in the hospital with the baby. (Baby is still hanging in there through the wacky medicine changes.)
And after today? Will definitely be thankful that it will be finally, completely over. At least for a month. Then there is Xmas to worry about. But that is waaaaay far off in the distance and if I rock myself back and forth and chant that is doesn't exist, maybe it will go away. Maybe.
So when the dinner?!? came to pass? (We were late getting there since dinner was at 2 and it is cosmically impossible for me to be anywhere on time. Seriously. Me being on time would result in flaming frogs raining down from the sky to mark the end of the world as we know it. Even though my being late had nothing to do with me and everything to do with Punk and FCB draggin' ass and fighting and generally just goofing off to drive me to the edge of batty right before we had to leave the house, at which time FCB stated that he was driving and MY minivan at that, and proceeded to get in and start adjusting my seat controls as well as my mirrors and where the hell did I put that crowbar, cuz bat be damned, anything would do at this point!) So we got there at 3. (They were getting ready to start and we arrived just in time to catch the AMEN of the blessing and as I am standing there with food in my hands FCB just sat right down at the table to start feeding like a hoover-vac stuck on permanent suck. I found a place to put the food and when I uncovered my to-die-for mac 'n cheese noses curled up bigger than a whole closet full of elf shoes and was told promptly that there was already mac 'n cheese on the table. oh yeah? Bite me.) And the kids? (They all dove into my mac 'n cheese cuz it was kid friendly and made with Velveeta and actually had FLAVOR to it as well as SALT and PEPPER, and everyone who actually braved the wrath of the hostess to try it said it was WONDERFUL! And no that is not bragging it is just fact cuz I just know I am a good cook that way plus I have had to suffer the bland tasteless food that is this family's fare for the last umpteen years and I know that these people are ready to have something else besides unseasoned cardboard.) And the dinner? (Who the fuck makes mashed potatoes without any milk or butter or salt and pepper or maybe even a little sour cream and garlic? I swear these potatoes were cooked, thrown in a bowl and mashed. Nothing added. Nothing. Hork. Gag. WTF? The green beans? No casserole, just green beans thrown in a dish and heated. NO SALT AND PEPPER. The Stuffing? I honestly think they shredded some cardboard and threw in some cranberries. The corn? Same as the green beans. Canned, thrown in a bowl and heated without being seasoned. Creamed onions...WTF...orange whipped-looking something I didn't touch...rolls that were raw dough in the middle...TWO fried turkeys and one roasted one. I was given one slice of the roasted one. That's it. And don't get me started on the broccoli casserole that my BIL made. Bless his heart, with the wife in the hospital with the youngest of five, he attempted to make one of her dishes that she cranks out every year. I was with her in the hospital when the husband called 5 times to have her walk him through making it. At first taste it seemed that he got it right, but about 5 minutes after eating it my tummy decided that he didn't. I had a lovely view of the restroom for the remainder of the evening.) All in all these people have never even heard of seasoning food. It was tragic. Don't even get me started on dessert. If you can even call it that. I came home and had some ice cream.
So today? The easy-peasy turkey breast in a bag that goes straight to oven from the freezer is cooking away. The (well seasoned) creamed corn, is on the stove. The green bean casserole is ready to be made along with the (well seasoned) stuffing. The sour cream, chive and garlic (and salt and pepper) mashed potatoes are in the making. The mac 'n cheese will be reheated (because it tastes great even on the second day, and try doing that with greasy traditional stuff) and there will be blueberry pie and strawberry cheesecake. Oh and the deviled eggs? Plenty of them left over because I took what was left back home with me. So a nice, well seasoned dinner will be had by this family in my house with a nice plate made up for Older Sister that is still in the hospital with the baby. (Baby is still hanging in there through the wacky medicine changes.)
And after today? Will definitely be thankful that it will be finally, completely over. At least for a month. Then there is Xmas to worry about. But that is waaaaay far off in the distance and if I rock myself back and forth and chant that is doesn't exist, maybe it will go away. Maybe.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I have like 8 drafts just sitting here waiting to get finished.
I hardly ever finish anything. The fact that I have actually managed to complete and publish posts in the past is an outright miracle. I have so many things to say...nay...to express all over you folks like an upchuck after a trip to an all you can eat buffet. But like that puddle of shouldn't have ate goodness, it is just a giant mess of stuff all mixed together.
I have Attention Deficit Disorder. Bad. My ADD is usually quite comical to my friends and family because in any given situation I am carrying on at least 7 different conversations about 12 different things. My best friends (gotta love 'em!) can keep up with me without missing a beat. Or at least they have mastered faking it to a T. I just keep rambling on and on while my thought train derails like a 8 car pile up. (And that was a joke...if you didn't get it cause I'm all subtle like that...go back and read it again. I'll wait. Still waiting. Get it yet? Laughing yet? Need me to wait another second while you clean the coffee you spit out of your nose off the screen? Sure thing. I'll wait. OK. Back to the story.) So where was I? Hmm...scanning the screen for what I already wrote....
So my friends get me. My sister even gets me most of the time. Keeping up with me can be difficult on many levels. Through this blog I have found other people who get me and even think I am funny! Whodathunkit. I found out today that my friend's friends read me and think I am funny. Awesome! Thanks, that rocks! Y'all rock! So here's my shout out to all the Mooses, Gooses, Fruits, Vegetables, Monkeys, Squirts and any other freaky whacked out nickname you folks choose for yourselves.
I fully intend on finishing and posting all those posts that I have started and haven't seemed to find the time or thought train to finish. I may just cut and paste and put them all in one entry and let y'all try to figure it all out for yourselves. Who knows. As the family is circling the wagons around the latest health crisis and I have spent an innumerable amount of hours trying to be supportive to my sister, I have collected some amazing blog fodder for future postings. I just have to get it all out of my brain an on to the computer and organized in a way that my readers will understand and....oooh look...a kitty!
I have Attention Deficit Disorder. Bad. My ADD is usually quite comical to my friends and family because in any given situation I am carrying on at least 7 different conversations about 12 different things. My best friends (gotta love 'em!) can keep up with me without missing a beat. Or at least they have mastered faking it to a T. I just keep rambling on and on while my thought train derails like a 8 car pile up. (And that was a joke...if you didn't get it cause I'm all subtle like that...go back and read it again. I'll wait. Still waiting. Get it yet? Laughing yet? Need me to wait another second while you clean the coffee you spit out of your nose off the screen? Sure thing. I'll wait. OK. Back to the story.) So where was I? Hmm...scanning the screen for what I already wrote....
So my friends get me. My sister even gets me most of the time. Keeping up with me can be difficult on many levels. Through this blog I have found other people who get me and even think I am funny! Whodathunkit. I found out today that my friend's friends read me and think I am funny. Awesome! Thanks, that rocks! Y'all rock! So here's my shout out to all the Mooses, Gooses, Fruits, Vegetables, Monkeys, Squirts and any other freaky whacked out nickname you folks choose for yourselves.
I fully intend on finishing and posting all those posts that I have started and haven't seemed to find the time or thought train to finish. I may just cut and paste and put them all in one entry and let y'all try to figure it all out for yourselves. Who knows. As the family is circling the wagons around the latest health crisis and I have spent an innumerable amount of hours trying to be supportive to my sister, I have collected some amazing blog fodder for future postings. I just have to get it all out of my brain an on to the computer and organized in a way that my readers will understand and....oooh look...a kitty!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Cuz I could bottle that shit and be all rich and stuff.
Being a very hectic week here, I have had to do a lot more driving than usual. While out on the road dodging a charter bus that was changing lanes like he was driving a Mazda Miata, I realized that what is lacking in today's day and age is COMMON SENSE! Seriously. Get some. Better yet, I'll just bottle and sell that shit so I can get my unpoverty on.
I'm all for making people retake their driver's test every time the license comes up for renewal. Cuz some people? They would just never pass and at least it would legally get them off the road. I say legally even though you just know the dumbfucks would drive with out a license anyway. But I digress.
With all the extra driving I have been a little more stressed that I normally would, and while it makes for a great comedy routine to entertain my sister while she is trapped in a tiny hospital room, it makes me build up a bullshit intolerance. For everything. And everyone. Especially OLD FARTS!! Including the Fat Cranky Bastard I live with and the Batshit Crazy Nitpicky Mother.
Chip? Shoulder? Have you met?
Not that I am an ageist.
But old people are buggin' the shit out of me right now.
I'm all for making people retake their driver's test every time the license comes up for renewal. Cuz some people? They would just never pass and at least it would legally get them off the road. I say legally even though you just know the dumbfucks would drive with out a license anyway. But I digress.
With all the extra driving I have been a little more stressed that I normally would, and while it makes for a great comedy routine to entertain my sister while she is trapped in a tiny hospital room, it makes me build up a bullshit intolerance. For everything. And everyone. Especially OLD FARTS!! Including the Fat Cranky Bastard I live with and the Batshit Crazy Nitpicky Mother.
Chip? Shoulder? Have you met?
Not that I am an ageist.
But old people are buggin' the shit out of me right now.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Holding my breath...
Older Sister and her newborn daughter are in the hospital tonight. They will probably be there for at least a few days. The new baby girl has a heart condition called atrial tachycardia. In such a new infant it is a scary and potentially VERY BAD thing. They are medicating the baby with different things to see what works best. I am medicating my sister with good ole fashioned southern comfort food like Mac'n'cheese. In tough times I only know how to do two things well...make good food, and make people laugh.
I have managed to make my sister practically pee her pants laughing today. Just doing my job to relieve some stress. Have no fear, I am taking notes, and will highlight y'all on some of the funnier stuff that transpires. Until then, go pick a back post at random and have a good chuckle. Pretty sure most of 'em have something funny in them. I am off to the hospital again to offer my comedic and cheesy support.
I have managed to make my sister practically pee her pants laughing today. Just doing my job to relieve some stress. Have no fear, I am taking notes, and will highlight y'all on some of the funnier stuff that transpires. Until then, go pick a back post at random and have a good chuckle. Pretty sure most of 'em have something funny in them. I am off to the hospital again to offer my comedic and cheesy support.
Monday, November 17, 2008
I've...
Got this from ChiTownGirl...I'm game!
OK, the rules are simple. Copy and paste the list, putting the things you've done in bold. I'm not tagging anyone, just play if you feel like it.
1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Had sex outside
OK, the rules are simple. Copy and paste the list, putting the things you've done in bold. I'm not tagging anyone, just play if you feel like it.
1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Had sex outside
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Doing Disney Disabled, part 1
This is going to be a regular series on my blog for at least the next year. I promise it won't get boring. (My daughter and I are the new proud owners of Season Passes. If you are heading to Disney World with your free birthday ticket in 2009 and you want some company, just give me a shout. I'm looking at you Feisty.)
Anyone who knows me or has at least read my blog a little knows there are two things I am truly passionate about, Crocs and Disney World. The good thing about these two passions? Disney is a plethora of tourists who have discovered the comfiness of Crocs while wandering around a theme park. Just looking down at every pair of feet in the lines waiting to get on a ride and you would see at least 3 out of 5 people wearing them. It's like a cult. And the good news? I hear they are going to start giving away a free glass of Kool-Aid with each new purchase! (I'm kidding. Maybe.)
So last October I convinced FCB (Fat Cranky Bastard in case y'all forgot what that stood for) to go to Disney for the day while we were already down in Orlando trying to enjoy some still hot Florida weather. (If you're a Yankee don't hate. It's y'all's choice to live in that vast frozen wasteland you cling to.) So after many promises to FCB that when we got home I would clean the house and budget the money better (I still haven't done either) we went to the Magic Kingdom for a day. At the ticket window, the nice friendly ticket agent convinced us to purchase the 3 day ticket at a much better value. FCB relented. YAY! DISNEY!
That day, back in October, I rented an Electric Convenience Vehicle or ECV which I will from now on lovingly refer to as a Fart Cart since that is what it is due to the old farts and the disabled people (and lazy motherfucking idiots that ruin it for the people that really need one not that I am bitter or anything...eh-hem) that ride them. Plus the fact that they are slower than I would like them to move and when you are on one it seems like you are just fartin' along. I had a great day with my daughter in the park. She would ride on the fart cart with me when employees were being generous, and would walk beside me patiently when we would get reprimanded for her riding on the fart cart with me. We would have covered more park that day had it not been for FCB tagging along and bitching all day about his feet and back hurting. I told him he should have rented an ECV, too. He said he didn't feel right riding one when he was able to walk (and bitch and moan) and there were people like me that needed one. Aww. That day we had a great day. Mostly. Fart cart and all. The only downer? Fucktards that constantly commented as I passed by, like I couldn't hear them, that I was fat and lazy and didn't deserve to ride a fart cart because there appeared to be nothing wrong with me. Dumbassed Fucktards. They just must have been jealous because I got to go to the front of the lines every time. HEHEHE. I love ulterior motives.
That brings us to the Disney visit this past weekend. We went to Animal Kingdom on Thursday because the only reservation left for the character dining was on Friday at Epcot. So we moved our plans around. Both FCB and I rented fart carts for the day in Animal Kingdom. Neither of us had been before and we wanted to enjoy it fully without any bitching. Eh-hem. From what we managed to see, it was eh-tastic. Really. I was kinda hoping for much more. I was disappointed. The whole park was planned badly. While the general outlay of the park was supposed to resemble a bastard child of Magic Kingdom and Epcot combined, it failed miserably when the planners that be decided to save space by making the walkways in the whole park way too narrow. Fart Carts + Narrow Walkways + Idiots Who Refuse To Acknowledge Us OR Move The Fuck Out Of The WAY!!! = Vocally Abusive Disgruntled Park Guest.
The Punk (my daughter) was mostly a good girl, and walked beside the fart carts when we got reprimanded by park employees. Which was, it seemed, every ten feet. In large crowds I made her get in my lap or her father's lap so as not to get swept away, distracted and lost. We got yelled at. She fell down and skinned her hands and knees at one point and when I picked her up to comfort her, while sitting on the fart cart, I got yelled at for having her in my arms while sitting completely still on the thing. I was getting a little fed up.
In the past, when I have had and ECV or a wheelchair, I have been treated like a special princess on wheels. I get into the lines faster and onto the rides faster. I still have to wait, just like everyone else, just not as long. The employees have always been nice and accommodating, up until this trip, and have gone out of their way to make me feel "special" and not in the short-bus kind of way. They are normally kind and helpful.
This time I was treated like a second class (or third in some cases) pain in the ass. I tried to not let it bother me, after all, we had just started the first day of the trip and I was thinking it was just the park or a fluke or something. We managed to finish out the day at the Animal Kingdom and at the end of the day, FCB bought Season Passes for me and the Punk so that we can come back over and over again. While at Guest Relations, we were talking about how we could come back for FCB's birthday next year with his free pass. The man at the counter then pointed out that our upgrade to passes expired one year from the date of original ticket purchase. We had bought the tickets 3 days before his birthday. I was bummed that we wouldn't all be able to come back next year and celebrate his birthday in Disney. Then the coolest thing happened. The Guest Relations guy extended out our passes 3 days beyond FCB's birthday so that we could come down for his birthday and stay the rest of the weekend if we so chose. WOOT! What a nice experience after a day of feeling like a substandard guest!
The next day was adventures in Epcot. Once again, both FCB and I got fart carts. Once again, the day went by with us being constantly harassed by fucktards who voiced that we were fat and lazy. I let it roll off. FCB was bothered by it. We rode a few rides and generally had a good time. We had a 4:20 reservation at Norway in the World Showcase to eat at a character dinner where we would get to meet at least 4 princesses. For the low bargain price of $167 and some change, we got to eat a yummy meal that included my daughter's $20 pizza the size of a silver dollar pancake. She only ate about half of it. The reason?
"OOH, Mommy! Look at all the Princesses!!"
She got to meet Sleeping Beauty first and got her photo taken by the park photographer. It was at that time we learned that we would be getting a "free photo package" with our dinner that evening. (That helped lube us up for the bend-over price of dinner.) Next up was Belle, only she was dressed in her peasant clothes and not the customary big ballgown. So my daughter was unimpressed with her, not ever having seen the movie and with all her books showing a princess in a big yellow dress. After Belle was Ariel. Full turquoise dress and long red hair. FCB was disappointed. He was looking forward to half-naked character in a push-up shell bra.
Well...you can't please everyone all the time...
The next princess to appear was Jasmine. Ooooh. One of the Punk's current favorites. Pictures were taken and Punk asked Jasmine if she wanted to go on a ride with her. Punk also asked Jasmine if she like her Crocs. She was a lot more talkative with the princesses she likes best. During this whole meet and greet, there was this weird looking creepy guy hanging out watching the princesses. He made it into almost all my pictures. Turns out he was "The Princess Handler" and was in charge of making sure they made it to every table without leaving anyone out.
Well...you can't please everyone all the time...
The next princess to appear was Jasmine. Ooooh. One of the Punk's current favorites. Pictures were taken and Punk asked Jasmine if she wanted to go on a ride with her. Punk also asked Jasmine if she like her Crocs. She was a lot more talkative with the princesses she likes best. During this whole meet and greet, there was this weird looking creepy guy hanging out watching the princesses. He made it into almost all my pictures. Turns out he was "The Princess Handler" and was in charge of making sure they made it to every table without leaving anyone out.
The last princess was Punk's all time favorite. Cinderella. Thank goodness potty training is still in force and a pull-up was on the Punk, because I know she must have peed herself in excitement. She showed Cinderella her Crocs, asked her to go on a ride, and asked if she wanted to come live with us. We all had a good laugh on that one. We finished our dinner, and had started the dessert course, when Creepy Handler Dude came over to ask us if we had seen at least 4 princesses. We assured him we had and he continued to talk with us and ask how we were enjoying the experience, we were polite, of course, but we made sure to answer in a way that didn't invite further questioning. We finished dessert and gathered up to leave, when we were approached by a Norwegian girl who worked in the restaurant. She asked us if we would like to accompany her on the boat ride that is featured in Norway. We agreed, and followed her past a long line and got on the ride immediately with a boat all to ourselves. COOL! Turns out, Handler Dude heard our daughter asking all the princesses to go on a ride and tried to give us the next best thing. That rocked.
We spent the rest of the day going on rides and at about 7:30pm FCB parked the fart cart in what he thought would be a good place to see the fireworks and Illuminations at 9pm. Punk and I spent the next hour and a half riding the boat ride in Mexico featuring Donald Duck. She adores that ride. She was in heaven. We watched the show at 9 and returned back to the hotel for the night. Originally we had planned to leave the next morning, but with my newly acquired Season Pass, I convinced FCB to let me and the Punk head to the Magic Kingdom Saturday morning for a little fun. He agreed and said he would sit by the pool after checkout and read for a few hours to give us time in the park.
The next day at the Magic Kingdom is a story all by itself. It started great and ended poorly. I fully plan to tell you all about it, but this post is long enough. I will leave you today with a few photos and a promise to divulge the rest in a couple of days along with the story of the Veterans' Day experience. Let's just say there are cracks in the magic that is Disney. Got any stories of your own? I would love to hear them! Meanwhile, enjoy the princess parade...
Word Verts Make Me Giggle.
I have noticed lately that the word verifications on blogger have gotten more imaginative, creative, and sometimes downright naughty. You could almost choose your next vanity plate for your car by them. Ya know, if you were weird like that. I had turned mine off because I figured other people might think they are a pain in the ass, but now? I have experienced so much plucky comic relief from them lately, that I have added that feature back on and encourage commenters to share their word verts with me. Even if it didn't come from my site or you saw a really funny or strange one from somewhere else, let me know about it. Come on...we all need the giggle.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Whew...geeze Mom!
My daughter walked up to me, planted her stuffed up nose that can't possibly smell anything right now to my stomach, and sniffed hard. She then walked away. I asked her if everything was OK and how did I smell?
She said, "um, Mommy? I think you are a little stinky. Here."
She was in the process of grabbing a bottle of bath splash from the bathroom while saying this and then presented it to me with the obvious "here."
Even though I just got out of the shower 15 minutes ago.
I guess the shower didn't take.
Gotta love the honesty or imagination of a 5 year old.
I have lots of stuff to post about my trip to Disney last Wednesday-Saturday, as well as my impromptu trip back down yesterday. Lots and lots of good, bad, and downright ugly. I am writing it, but it is going to be a long one. Even thinking about breaking it up in parts. Dunno yet. But it's currently in the works and will post it as soon as I am done typing it up. Thanks for your patience!
She said, "um, Mommy? I think you are a little stinky. Here."
She was in the process of grabbing a bottle of bath splash from the bathroom while saying this and then presented it to me with the obvious "here."
Even though I just got out of the shower 15 minutes ago.
I guess the shower didn't take.
Gotta love the honesty or imagination of a 5 year old.
I have lots of stuff to post about my trip to Disney last Wednesday-Saturday, as well as my impromptu trip back down yesterday. Lots and lots of good, bad, and downright ugly. I am writing it, but it is going to be a long one. Even thinking about breaking it up in parts. Dunno yet. But it's currently in the works and will post it as soon as I am done typing it up. Thanks for your patience!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
How can I be so happy and so pouty at the same time?
I went to the hearing screening at my daughter's school today. I was supposed to take over for the guy that ran it last year, as he was leaving due to his 5th grader graduating. I was prepared to be all responsible and shit and run the thing and organize volunteers. I knew the time was nearing for all this to happen and found out last week when I was volunteering for pictures that someone else had been recruited for the job. Huh? Oh, and the perky lady in the office wanted to know if I wanted to volunteer. Volunteer? I was supposed to run it all, I lamented to the chick. She looked at me like I just asked her if I could chew on her face for a snack. You know the look, disgusted and surprised all at the same time? Yeah that one. With just a hint of contempt and disdain. Come to think of it, at the moment, I really could have started gnawing her face off. I was pissed. Irked. Oddly rejected. How dare the PTB* AND the PTA* overlook me when I was willing to be so generous with my time and lack of talent at organizing and running things? Ungrateful snooty, uppity...gnaw, gnaw gnaw....
I got there late today to volunteer. Subconsciously delaying so that maybe when I got there they wouldn't need me and I could come home and sleep. The lady who was running it was pleased to see me and showed me where to go and started talking to me about what to do. I told her I knew what to do and could probably train everyone else. She shot me a dirty look. I noticed there were alcohol wipes at every station. Well at least someone listened to me. Little unknown fact about kids...they have dirty ears. And also as I found out today...apparently glittery ears as well. I swear at least every other girl came in with glitter all over her. But I digress.
Having recovered from the twitching that the dirty look caused me, I started testing the kiddies. Since I was there last year for hearing screening, and for pictures, and vision screening, and because I am who I am, look how I look, and have the added benefit of having the name "Oh look! It's Punk's Mommy!" I was recognized by many children and was the recipient of many squishy, kiddie hugs. I love those. Nothing cures what ails ya better than a hug or two or 50 from a 5 or 6 year old. That made my day. It so made up for the fact that I was overlooked, yet again, from those snooty, uppity, SUV driving, perfectly coiffed, perfectly done up, grown up cheerleaders that used to pick of the fat kid or hate on the girl that got boobs before anyone else....eh-hem. Where was I? What issues? I don't have issues! Much. Sometimes. OK, let's just call 'em subscriptions and move along. Anyway.
After the "event" was over, and I was trying to socialize with the other volunteers, I found out that the lady that was running it all today wasn't even from our school. She was from the neighboring elementary school and had brought 3 friends with her. Me and one other mom were the only ones with children attending that school. WTF?? The others were all contacted by "friends of the PTA" because of the "parental lack of support" that supposedly goes on at our school. I stated that the only reason I hadn't been to a PTA meeting was the lack of a babysitter. The other mom chimed in that I should just bring my daughter to the next meeting. (Insert mental, evil, maniacal laugh with hand wringing and plotting for the undoing of the whole damn meeting, here.) Bring MY child? Get anything accomplished with her in tow? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just wait, you washed out cheerleaders...I shall unleash the power that is my child. Beware ADD Girl! She is the master of distraction and being distracted. Add to that her mother's phenomenal powers of chronic tardiness and general obnoxiousness and you will never accomplish anything at a PTA meeting again!! HEHEHEHAHAHAHOHOHO....A-hem.
So to summarize...Cheerleaders bad, PTA evil...poor pitiful me for being overlooked yet again, (some of them are probably still chafing at the flirting with the photo guy and my mysterious 3 hour disappearance...) lots of squishy hugs from dirty and glittery eared kids, and I come home to find out there is some sort of presidential election going on and there is nothing good on TV. Who knew? Plus, the ultimate let down...I now have the least amount of blog followers of all the peoples blogs I follow, you follow? I feel oddly loved yet unloved. Happy and pouty. Oh well. I can cheer myself up by drowning myself in my child's Halloween stash, and then walk it all off in the next 4 days.**
So what are you going to do now Persnickety? I'm going to Disney World!!!
*PTB=Powers That Be. PTA=Parent Teacher Association. These two entities should never be allowed to join forces, because total chaos erupts.
**I don't actually walk Disney. I do it in style in a rented Disney Fart Cart. Easier to mow down stooopid people and it gets me on the rides faster than the Fast Pass folks.
I got there late today to volunteer. Subconsciously delaying so that maybe when I got there they wouldn't need me and I could come home and sleep. The lady who was running it was pleased to see me and showed me where to go and started talking to me about what to do. I told her I knew what to do and could probably train everyone else. She shot me a dirty look. I noticed there were alcohol wipes at every station. Well at least someone listened to me. Little unknown fact about kids...they have dirty ears. And also as I found out today...apparently glittery ears as well. I swear at least every other girl came in with glitter all over her. But I digress.
Having recovered from the twitching that the dirty look caused me, I started testing the kiddies. Since I was there last year for hearing screening, and for pictures, and vision screening, and because I am who I am, look how I look, and have the added benefit of having the name "Oh look! It's Punk's Mommy!" I was recognized by many children and was the recipient of many squishy, kiddie hugs. I love those. Nothing cures what ails ya better than a hug or two or 50 from a 5 or 6 year old. That made my day. It so made up for the fact that I was overlooked, yet again, from those snooty, uppity, SUV driving, perfectly coiffed, perfectly done up, grown up cheerleaders that used to pick of the fat kid or hate on the girl that got boobs before anyone else....eh-hem. Where was I? What issues? I don't have issues! Much. Sometimes. OK, let's just call 'em subscriptions and move along. Anyway.
After the "event" was over, and I was trying to socialize with the other volunteers, I found out that the lady that was running it all today wasn't even from our school. She was from the neighboring elementary school and had brought 3 friends with her. Me and one other mom were the only ones with children attending that school. WTF?? The others were all contacted by "friends of the PTA" because of the "parental lack of support" that supposedly goes on at our school. I stated that the only reason I hadn't been to a PTA meeting was the lack of a babysitter. The other mom chimed in that I should just bring my daughter to the next meeting. (Insert mental, evil, maniacal laugh with hand wringing and plotting for the undoing of the whole damn meeting, here.) Bring MY child? Get anything accomplished with her in tow? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just wait, you washed out cheerleaders...I shall unleash the power that is my child. Beware ADD Girl! She is the master of distraction and being distracted. Add to that her mother's phenomenal powers of chronic tardiness and general obnoxiousness and you will never accomplish anything at a PTA meeting again!! HEHEHEHAHAHAHOHOHO....A-hem.
So to summarize...Cheerleaders bad, PTA evil...poor pitiful me for being overlooked yet again, (some of them are probably still chafing at the flirting with the photo guy and my mysterious 3 hour disappearance...) lots of squishy hugs from dirty and glittery eared kids, and I come home to find out there is some sort of presidential election going on and there is nothing good on TV. Who knew? Plus, the ultimate let down...I now have the least amount of blog followers of all the peoples blogs I follow, you follow? I feel oddly loved yet unloved. Happy and pouty. Oh well. I can cheer myself up by drowning myself in my child's Halloween stash, and then walk it all off in the next 4 days.**
So what are you going to do now Persnickety? I'm going to Disney World!!!
*PTB=Powers That Be. PTA=Parent Teacher Association. These two entities should never be allowed to join forces, because total chaos erupts.
**I don't actually walk Disney. I do it in style in a rented Disney Fart Cart. Easier to mow down stooopid people and it gets me on the rides faster than the Fast Pass folks.
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