So we set off on vacation Saturday (4 hours late...my family is allergic to motivation) and we stopped at the outlet mall so I could get yet ANOTHER pair of Crocs as well as some new ones for the punk. (For those that have strong feelings against Crocs and feel the need to share...this is not the place. Between my daughter and I, we own 8 pairs and we love them. So kiss my grits and get over yourself. Moving on...)
So we are in the car and I was fighting the usual epic battle between the seat belt and The Boobs. See, what happens is the seat belt slides across the girls and ends up choking me. I keep meaning to get a clip to use in FCB's (Fat Cranky Bastard) car, but just keep forgetting until it is too late. (Don't need one in my car.) So I was frustrated and choking and thinking I don't want to hold the seat belt for the whole 5 hour trip, when it dawns on me to use the ponytail holder from my hair. I unbuckled, slipped it over the seat belt and voila! Problem solved. Richard Dean Anderson would be SO proud. I pointed out my accomplishment to FCB and told him, "Look! Fixed it! I'm all McGuyver like that!" (He laughed)
Then I'm thinking...hey! Blog fodder! I should write this down!
So I do. I took out a pen and a little notebook I keep in my purse and I started writing. FCB asked me what I was doing, and I replied, "blogging, of course."
He asks me why I was going to share this story and I told him because it's really funny and I like sharing my opinions with the world. Besides...other people think I am funny too...(or at least y'all lie convincingly to make me feel better...either way, it's all good.) I ask him if he has ever actually read my blog, and he says...
"I live with you all day. Do you really think I need to go out on the Internet and hear your opinion all over again?"
(Can ya feel the love, people?)
Now, if only I could figure out a way to tie him up and beat some sunshine into him with a green pen, a notebook, a plastic bag, 2 pairs of Crocs, a ponytail holder, and a turkey baster.
(I don't really have a turkey baster handy...just threw that in for comedic effect...did it work?)
I've Got an Itchy Trigger Finger. No, Really!
4 months ago
4 comments:
You are all McGyver AND a bag of spicey jalapeno potato chips!
And you are funny!
Can I link to your blog?
LOL, thanks for the laugh!
1.Do you know how difficult it is, this late at night, to AVOID emitting the hyena laughter I have?
2.I'm slightly suprised FCB even knows who/what MacGuyver is.
3. I'd bet that you'll pass a HellMart SOMEWHERE along the way...or even a dollar store. Too bad you can't use one to suck out his opinions and drop them down the drain. You'll just have to settle for smacking him in the head with the baster instead. He's just jealous because you have better opinions.
And I SO need to get to the croc store myself...FSU crocs are required. DH is kicking up the ante with his orange and blue spirit. He's going to force me to take drastic action. I may need my own baster.....
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