Sunday, February 22, 2009

And then? She just licked the floor.

Having had the plague that is this effing cold for 6 weeks now, I am completely miserable. I couldn't feel anymore like shit than if I dropped out of the hindquarters of a dung beetle. I think I said that already in another post, but hey, I go with what I feel. Having returned home early this morning from a visit to the ER to have my severely infected with possibly MRSA nose that is swollen to 3 times its normal size looked at, I collapsed into bed where I got almost no sleep. Damn morphine. I will sleep for 10 minutes and lay awake for an hour. Plus? Itchy EVERYWHERE. Damn side effects.

But enough about me, this is a little story about the Punk.

Having had a snotty nose all week, we have been trying to get her to take medicine to make the snots stop pouring out of her nose. Because she wipes it across her face. And into her hair. That is of course only if mommy's shirt is not readily available to use as a tissue. No kidding, this kid will come seek me out to give me a "hug" as a ruse to just wipe her snotty germy excess all over my clean shirt. Because I am always wearing a clean shirt due to the fact that she just snotted up the last one and I had to change. Ugh.

So the medicine that we have found works best with her is those thin strips that instantly dissolve. One second on her tongue and a gulp of water and everyone is happy. Well, except for the resentful glares I get the rest of the day along with the accusations of "Look what you did!" while pointing to her mouth. So on Thursday, I took her to school after her therapy and she was just a snotty mess because we were running late that morning and I had forgot to dose her up. I stopped into the nurse's office on the way to her classroom and asked them if the Benadryl that I had left there for her skin issues would also clear up her nose. They said sure and went straight to the cabinet and pulled one out for me. Now these are the little "spoon" type dispensers that you just open and squirt into their mouth. Sitting in the office at the time of this 2 school nurses and 2 student nurses from the local college. This office is the size of a large closet. It was cramped.

Oh for the love of TODDLER TANTRUMS!!

She was already blubbering because she knew I was going to try to give her medicine. She was just upset that I had delivered her to school instead of to Grandma's bedside. She was completely over dramatic because...she had an audience. Period. I'm telling you now this kid is going to win an Oscar before she is 7.

I grab her, wrestle her to the floor (while all four medical type people stared at me) and tried to squirt the medicine down her throat. She fought like a feral cat trying to avoid a bath. This went on for several minutes while I tried to dose her (Absolutely NO help from the medical people that just sat and watched like we were some type of Broadway show or train wreck in progress.) and when I finished the last squirt of medicine....


Presumably to get the medicine taste out of her mouth. Now personally, there are other ways of accomplishing this...but her? Going for the most disease and germ laden option was the only way to truly protest to the utmost degree, the indignity and WRONGNESS of making her take something that might actually make her feel better. She could have opened every doorknob in the whole school with her mouth and been more sanitary than licking the nurse's office floor. ::shudder::

The good news is? She promptly puked into the trash can right after that all happened. The better news? The stunned look on the student nurses faces after the whole episode. I had to giggle. That'll teach 'em to want to enter the field of being a school nurse. Hah! The bad news? I got enough Benadryl in her to make her sleep most of the day. So school was pretty much a wash that day. I went home looking like a used Kleenex.

And that is a little peek into the drama that is my 5 year old's life. My pain meds are kicking in along with something else that is making me sleepy(damn side effects), so I am off to bed to go heal up some more. Thanks everyone for all the bloggy love I get in the comments, it means so much to me.

Til the next fiasco...


Delswife said...

OMG! I'm sorry, but this was a riot. I'm sure it was no fun at the time for you though.

Wait until she is a teenager and you re-tell her this story. I love it when kids give us ammo. LOL!

ChiTown Girl said...

Well, after the title of this post grabbed my attention, I was a little relieved to read that it was Punk that licked the floor, and NOT FCB's mother!!

Hope you're both feeling better soon. :(

Feisty Irish Wench said...

I read the title and knew it was about Punk. I was wondering how you were...haven't talked to you in years it seems. I miss my Snick...*sniff*

Chantelle said...

I really hope you feel better soon! It is NO fun, we had the crud here for a few weeks too.
I know it isnt' supposed to be funny, but it kind of is, because it reminds me of trying to give my son medication. The pink stuff ;)

I had to laugh at the mental images of the student nurses. I was a student nurse at one point, but not for school nursing. I can imagine that I spent many days with an utter look of horror on my face LoL. Feel better soon! Oh, and thank you for telling me about your little one's ear tubes. It helps to hear about it from other people, I have no clue what to expect.

Busy Bee Suz said...

She licked the floor? Oh my lordy, I would have thrown up right there myself. that is so gross. Is she feeling better? Perhaps she got some anit-virus from the floor and it cleared her up?
I never had an issue with giving the girls meds...i think they are just really scared of me. ;0 They do what ever I say. Or else.
i hope you are feeling better must be miserable. **hugs**

The Girl Next Door said...

At least she licked the floor and THEN puked and not the other way around...