Monday, February 2, 2009

Friendds don't let freends drog blunk!

Cuz I am baking a cake and and have dranken a whole damn doodle bottle of Arbor Mist Sangria and am trying to pack for disney while talking on the phone with Feisty and I had this whole schpeeel about how absolutely fuked my Mondat was going and how it is a conspiracy between the evol funnel cake, the dust bunnies under my bed, the clowns in my closet and the bra manufacturers but oops...there goes my cake and holed on a minute....I am so kicking Duncan Crocker's ass right now!!

And so anyway...where was I? Oh yeah so I had this whole thing planned out to blog and then I started drinking and yall should be lucky that you getting at least this and I was going to be so funny that yous guys was going to pee your pants and then I started drinking and baking and droging blunk and OOOOOHHH look a kitty!!


Feisty Irish Wench said...

well, at least one of us can drink sangria. thanks for drinking for the both of us. i needed that laugh.

lotheall - what a surprised drunk yells when they're startled

Anonymous said...

Has nobody ever pointed out to you the connection between alcohol consumption, obesity and heart disease? No offence, I love your blog, but you come across as very careless, especially since you got the lil punk to worry about in the future...


Enjoy that sangria! I'm jealous! :) (I only drink on nights when I'm writing my novel...and I won't drink on nights when I'm writing Red Pen, Inc. stuff because I'd make a million I am NOT drinking tonight, but I wish I were!)

Persnickety Ticker said...

Anonymous: First of all, ball up and post who you are. Don't force me to remove the anonymous option from my blog because you are too much of a coward to show yourself.

Second, if you even read this blog regularly? You would know that my heart condition is a birth defect. Period. I was born with it. It has nothing to do with drinking or obesity. I rarely drink and when I do it is one glass of wine or one wine cooler. I do not get drunk. I am not irresponsible.

Maybe you missed all the news and studies and reports that say that drinking a glass of wine often to occasionally is actually GOOD for your heart.

Third, I am obese because I cannot exercise adequately to LOSE weight. I can however exercise enough to maintain my weight. I also watch what I eat, and if you knew me personally, then you would be aware that I do all I can to take the best care of myself FOR myself and my child.

Finally, as you can plainly see by the timestamp on this comment, and the nature and composition of this retort, I am sober.

This post was written in fun as means to lighten my mood after a very trying day. This is MY BLOG. My right to post what I feel like when I feel like it. Since you are so very obviously taking my humor the wrong way and cannot appreciate the jest in which I compose MY BLOG, you are very welcome to leave and never return.

You don't know me or anything about the life I live. Only what I allow you to see. You don't like what you see? Don't look.

My child? She is the ultimate gift in my life and I would NEVER do anything to jeopardize her well-being. Whether I am alive or not she will be well cared for and loved.

Next time you feel the need to wipe your misplaced disdain all over someone's blog, either have the gumption to post who you are or restrain yourself and your fingers from spreading your unwanted opinion.

Feisty Irish Wench said...

It's always an anonymous poster that pisses in the cracker jacks. Has no one pointed out to Anon that making assumptions makes asses of people? Once again someone assumes you're a heart patient because you're fat, when in fact you're a fat patient because your heart was born with a few bricks short of a load.

No offense Anon, but between the assumptions and the misspelled words, you come across as an absolute asshat.

Thanks for the late night entertainment ;)

insanelybusymomma said...

WOOT for kicking Duncan Crockers on to the bust dunnies um errr meant dust bunnies!

As for you Anon, thank you for your misguided attempt to educate everyone and as Fiesty said in not so many words, making an ass out of yourself by making assumptions (thought maybe you needed it 'splained to ya, sorry if it seems I dumbed it down).

Ahhhh Mondays...Sangria and comments in the Big Brother spirit...what more could a girl want?

Meuse said...

lol ooooh my stanly...(hic) even in the bottlet spirits of the (hic) night...i can giggle... (hic) yall just aint right... but i LOVE YOOH MAN! (hic) whars dat other dang bottle at?

word verf... orouga.... what an old timey cars horn says... heh heh (hic)

MrsSoersdal said...

Don't listen to Anonymous, whoever that was. Enjoy your sangria. It's full of healthy antioxidants, neutralizing all them crabby free radicals. Everyone knows that :)

Busy Bee Suz said...

You crack me did the cake turn out????? Pictures????
Do you really have a clown in your closet? that freaks me out.

Chantelle said...

You're a hoot!! I have to say that anonmyous people suck. No balls! Doesn't anyone with a brain know that wine in moderation is good for the heart? Sheesh.

Oh, and I have to thank you AND not thank you at the same time for your scorpion tip. From now on, I would be checking my shoes. Except in addition to feeling the need to hover so that I don't step on one that I am sure will be cleverly disguised as carpet, I also think that I will never wear anything other than flip flops again, no matter what the weather or the ocassion is ;) hehee

Chantelle said...

Oops I just realized I can't spell anonymous. LoL

ChiTown Girl said...

GOD, I love you!!! You never cease to make me crack the hell up!! First off, the post is hilarious. Second, I love the way you put Anon in his ball-less place. You just saved me a lot of typing!!!

Tink said...

Ha! I LOVE drunk blogging. :)