Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Still here and on day six of a low grade fever.

I fear I am going to have to do the one thing I have been dreading....


I tend to avoid them because they like to imprison me in large institutions where they force you to eat crap, poke at you relentlessly, drain you of blood, shoot you up with random medication that makes you feel all woogie and generally take sport in seeing how many times they can wake you through the night. I honestly think there is a nightly betting pool amongst the staff.

Evil bastards.

I thought I was on the mend. I actually felt mostly decent on Easter. Only a temp of about 99 and limited coughing with hardly any snot.

And then...I spent the entire night and morning laying on my couch waiting for sleep that never came and listening to the storm outside. When I did finally doze off at 5:30, I awoke at 7am feeling as though I was drowning in a sea of congestion.

I had bronchitis once. It was just a little cough. And when I went to the doctor for a little medication, he threw me in a hospital for a month because I not only had bronchitis, but pneumonia as well.

This feels the same.

I am determined to self medicate in a stubborn bout to return to Disney to help my niece celebrate her birthday.

What can I say? I am either a die hard fan or have finally lost my mind due to fever.

Oh, nice little tidbit of information that was passed along to me yesterday from the FCB. It seems that TWO! count 'em TWO! different church members called FCBSis 3 days after the funeral to tell her that I was playing video games in my purse in church, as well as picking at my feet and yawning throughout the entire FUNERAL.

I immediately called FCBSis to explain what actually happened. I was actually looking at pictures on my digital camera of FCBMom. Just flipping through, remembering. During the REGULAR SERVICE. I also adjusted my shoe. DURING THE REGULAR SERVICE. My feet hurt from all of the standing. There was a lot of standing. I was wearing the wrong shoes for all the standing. FCBSis only stood up about half the time. We all have various medical issues which make standing a lot, difficult.

And the yawning?

Bad heart=bad circulation. That means that my heart doesn't pump strong enough to get a good blood supply going through my body. I always yawn. A.LOT. It's called lack of oxygen. I actually got a good look at my self in one of the ornamental mirrors in the church after the service but before the funeral. I was pale. Sheet white actually. And my lips were a lovely shade of blue. This happens often. People actually freak a little when they see me turn blue. Family is used to it, but it makes for an interesting party trick.

FCBSis said she understood and wasn't judging. The entire congregation is a bunch of gossipy busybodies anyway. I wanted to clarify that I wasn't disrespecting her mother.

I am not a church person.

Those people were lucky it didn't start hailing frogs just from me setting foot in their church.

The church that FCBMom contributed over $75,000 in the last 10 years.

By the end of the service the entire family was scoping out the place to see what we could get away with walking out of the door with. After all...we paid for most of it. I would have taken the damn ornamental mirror off the wall, but it was probably too heavy anyway.

So we are still sorting out the FCBMom stuff and it looks like we are going to get her house in the end. Which means I am moving in a few months. Joy.

The good thing in all this is my Punk gets to go to a really great school that is one block away from where we will be living.

Oh and I inherited the FCBMom/Dad's Jazzy mobility chair. That alone is going to save me $65 a pop ever time I go to Disney because I will no longer have to rent a fart cart.

So that is the situation going on here. Punk has the sickies too, but doesn't seem nearly as miserable as me. She refuses to take ANY medication and is just as happy and energetic as usual. I am medicated to the hilt and still can't breathe. Sucks.

So dear readers...if there is anyone still left out there...what is up with y'all? I know I am a day early for What's Up Wednesday, but lets be honest...I am not as regular about that as I should be. I just figured I needed to post something before people started asking where MY funeral was going to be held.


ChiTown Girl said...

Good Lord, Woman!! Who the hell ARE these nosy bodies?! GET A LIFE, BITCHES!!

I'm glad the move is going to be a positive thing for you. And, hey! The Fart Cart is a bonanza! ;-)

Hope you're on the mend soon!

Anonymous said...

Just so you know, I check your blog daily. I am so sorry to hear that you are sick, and you need to get your butt to the doctor.
Feel better,
Sam from California

Persnickety Ticker said...

Woot! I am getting "checked out" daily!!

You like me! You really, really like me!

Hey cool! A pink squirrel just rode a purple elephant through the room!

I think I need a cookie.

With sprinkles.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I think you need to see your Dr. too. Don't you have a newer- cuter model? He may NOT put you in the hospital....Really.
I would hate for you to get that darn pneumonia again...you know people DIE from that? Healthy people...that is NOT YOU my friend.

Great, now I am going to worry about all the bad stuff in the world and YOU getting sicker. Thanks.

I can't believe 2 people had the gall to make a phone call on you. You must have quite the reputation...cause those old bats were keeping an eye on you.
You should have picked your nose and smiled. :)
Take care...hope you feel better SOON.

Robin Costello (Delswife) said...

Oh! Your own fart cart! Nice.

You need flames or bullet holes for it? Let me know. ;)

Meuse said...

congrats on the cart of your own thingy...

can me an punk fight over who gets to ride on your lap? or do we hafta be good and just take turns????

i told you i never liked church. now you see why. (as if you didnt before in the first place)

id personally hiss at old bats if they werent currently paying my rent.

i sympathise on the sickies. i too need a cookie with sprinkles. its been going around. i am however trucking away in orlando this week, plowing down managers with for rent signs and stalking managers with help wanted signs, just to make a dent in my life.

hope you feel better soon. i wont tell ya to go to the institutions you love so well, cuz your stubborn enuff to know when you cant take another step anyway.

talk to you soon.

Feisty Irish Wench said...

Oh good grief, those church busybodies OBVIOUSLY don't actually READ that Bible they tote and try to quote. There's some things in there that pertain to them specifically.

You need boxes? I can get you boxes. I got connections.