Monday, June 16, 2008

Warring Roses and Dragging Queens

I have been absent from blogging this past week due to circumstances beyond my....well honestly it was all FCB's fault. That man is an insufferable ass. Days full of bickering, button pushing and nit-picking and of course the weekly jab of telling me to pack up and get out, led me to go out on the town last Thursday to take some me time and enjoy myself. I was preparing to leave, when I was asked what I was going to do about my child. Insert blank stare here.

I recovered from that brief mind-numbing (actually it was blinding hate, but I'm splitting hairs) episode and said that he was home, had no plans, donated the sperm, and was fully capable of "babysitting" his child for a few hours. He looked at me like I just asked him to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel while simultaneously composing and entire symphony all while doing push-ups with only his penis. (not that he could or anything) He then told me to be home by MIDNIGHT. It was 9pm.

A small debate later about him not being MY dad and having no right to dictate-a-damn at me, I left to go pick up a friend and hit a local bar. I had not been to this bar in years, and once there with all the smoke, drinks, and rampant fairies running around, I took a deep breath and breathed out a deep sigh of relief. I was home. I missed hanging out with loving accepting people that take you as you are. I used to be "fag hag" or drag queen groupie, and actually had a close knit circle of male friends that liked dressing up in glitz and glam to perform as women. I was nicknamed "Momma Transy" because I mothered, loved and protected each and every one of them.

While I didn't see any of my old friends that night, I was at the club with my best friend, and she was doing a great job of listening to me rant about my life while throwing dollar bills at drag queens. I had a couple of drinks, and was able to truly kick back for the first time in a long time. We watched all the shows, laughed, talked and had a great time. We decided to head to breakfast before heading home. We stopped at the Waffle House for a nutritional breakfast of runny eggs and greasy hash browns covered in chili of questionable origins. Yum. I got home at 3:33 on the dot. Took a shower to get all the smoke and germs off me, (yes I washed my ankles) and then passed out on the couch. Ahhh....good times. I definitely am going to have to do that again.

I just leave y'all with a little joke. Some will get it, some won't. It's a southern thing.

What has six tits and three teeth?
The wait staff at your local Waffle House.

Thank you! Thank you! Don't forget to tip your Drag Queen!


tysgirl said...

Huh, the wait staff at our Waffle House don't have any teeth.

Meuse said...

hahaha... ok, i couldn't have put it better myself! whats your plans this weekend? oh, for the love of peanutbutter...ICKs-nay the runny eggs...ugh...

Lindy said...

If i didn't know better I'd swear you were in KY.
I came, I laughed, I clicked.