Little aliens are landing on my face at night. I am positive of this. The reason I know this is because they are staking their territory by planting little "we were here" flags in the shape of long black curly hairs that are not there one day and are longer than humanly possible for a hair to grow overnight the next day.
It's a conspiracy.
I say this because I think the aliens are in league with the gremlins and they are planning a coup. The gremlins are dying individual hairs on my head gray every night in an attempt at trying to make me think I am all old and shit. Which I know is not possible at all. And of course has nothing at all to do with the granny hairs sprouting out of my chinny-chin-chin. It's just an attempt by forces out of my control to completely fuck with my mind....and my follicles. Little bastards.
Where's Tweezer Man in a brightly colored, tight fitting, revealing yet concealing (read: hung) suit to come to my rescue when I need him most?
I've Got an Itchy Trigger Finger. No, Really!
4 months ago
2 comments:
The aliens are truly evil. They started knocking on my door when I was 23. Such a pitty.
There's enough of us, I think we can take the aliens and gremlins :D.
You know what it is? They are jealous of us cos we're so damned cute!
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